finals week.

finals week in the most dreaded week in a college student's semester.  usually this is the week where people pull all nighters trying to cram every last bit of information into their over-filled brain in attempt to make up for their lack of studying during the semester.  i decided that series of events wasn't for me.  so  rather than stress myself out [which results in escalated tics, over-eating, and a lack of sleep] i relaxed.
tuesday consisted of an hour of laying in the grass, soaking up the last bit of sunshine rexico has to offer, listening to classical music, and visualizing.  i guess this worked out pretty well because i got a 91% on my accounting final!  trust me, i was freaking out as much as you guys are.  did i mention that the average was in the low 60s?  yeah, still freaking out over here.
for some reason on wednesday my teachers decided to have class [all 4 of them].  so guess who gets to spend her wednesday at school from 10:15-4:45?  me.  but that's okay, because you guys get an amazing blog post out of it.
thursday [which has yet to come] will consist of me sleeping in as late as i please, taking my art/prop final from 2:00-3:30 [i'm going into that final with a 98.5%.  wish me luck.] and then studying my tuchas off for my econ final.  see, this is where it gets tricky, because i have an 88.8% going into the final, which means i have to get an A on the final to get an A in the class.  let's hope the power of positive thinking [along with mass amounts of studying] will work.


so i've been obsessed with this song since last friday and it's been on repeat for about 10 hours a day.  take a listen, relax, and have a phenomenal wednesday.

i love you all.  thank you for your support and prayers over the past semester/months/years.


xx Ollie

no good deed goes unpunished.

business class. 3:15-4:45. MW. not my favorite class. it's my last class of the day, last of 4 classes, and it's dark by the time i'm done. as i was packing up my bag after the first day of presentations, a friend put a note on my desk.  it said, "i think you are awesome, ali.  the best part of this class has been the feeling of acceptance i have felt from you.  my group has always undermined me in one way or another and i've felt like i didn't matter to any of them.  i'm grateful that you have taken the time to learn my name, invite me to your birthday party, and say hi to me.  i'll miss you next semester."


do you know how much that made my day? i think i'm still smiling. i am a firm believer that you should treat others as you want to be treated, and it's little instances like this that show you that your actions never go unnoticed.  in middle school i was the girl who had very few friends and appreciated when someone took time out of their [busy] social life to ask me a few questions about my day.  these people probably don't know the impact they've had on me, but to them i say thank you.


even if you don't realize it, most all of your actions go noticed by one individual or another.  it's comforting to know that there are still some people who still appreciate the little things in life -- the little comments, the little questions, and the little actions.  


no good deed goes without being notice, ladies [and gentlemen].  if you ever have doubts about asking someone about their day or inviting them to get lunch with you, just do it -- you never know what struggles they're going through.  


happy finals week.


xx ALi

hi cute girl

 we are adorkable.  no shame.

 cute birthday outfit for the cute birthday bitch.

 cute thanksgiving outfit [thanks for your clothes, ollie]

 there's nothing better than the last dress on the sale rack being your size. 

 red is my favorite color for a reason -- it makes me look so freaking attractive.

 my ankles were freezing all day.  but it was worth it.

 who said grunge couldn't be stylish?

 oh hi desert boots and $10 flannel.  don't you look lovely today.

favorite outfit of the semester. hands down.  so comfortable, yet so cute.

and sometimes i wonder why i'm still single.

xx ALi

tic talk.

last night my roommates, karrie [aka karrol], morgan, and i were talking.  they asked the dreaded question "ali, how can we make you have a new tic?"  i responded with the answer "you have to subconsciously instill the new word in my vocabulary".  i then proceeded to tell them a story of how in 10th grade my group of friends decided to say "meh" every chance they get.  they weren't trying to make it my tic [they actually told me i couldn't use that word...bitches], but since i was constantly hearing that horrific word, my brain decided that it needed to be my new tic.  so i kept saying "meh, meh, meh" and sounded like a duck.  <-- true story.  

so morgan and karrol decided that they wanted to make my new tic an inappropriate word.  let's just say this word is a male appendage.  whenever they said something, they would make sure to say that word 3,4,5 times in that sentence.  it was all fun and games until my brain actually started processing what was going on and i could feel this word becoming my new tic.  i might be okay with this, but there's a small piece of information that i forget to mention -- i have a humanities final IN THE CLASSROOM.  can you imagine how people would react if they heard me saying "penis" every 10 seconds during this 1 1/2 hour final?  that might be awkward...

so i can't really remember the point i was trying to make, but i hope you got a good laugh out of it.


happy wednesday, snitches.


xoxo ALi

i'm glad i'm not a turkey.

happy thanksgiving, hooray hooray hooray! aren't you glad you're not a turkey on this thanksgiving day?


that was a song i used to sing in kindergarden, when all i had to worry about were naps, what i was going to color next, and if i would get a good seat on the alphabet carpet in my class.  


today is thanksgiving.  a day for thanks.  but i think it's a semi silly holiday, because we should give thanks every single day we're alive.


today i am thankful for many things.  i'm thankful for :
my health.  i'm grateful i'm not a turkey on this thanksgiving day.
the crazy family i was born into.  they have been through the good and the bad, the thick and the thin, and the fat and the skinny.  they are my cheerleaders - my number one support system - and i don't know where i would be without them. 
my best friends who love me for me and don't care that i'm loud, semi-obnoxious, and awkward.  they pretend to love my gluten free brownies just to make me feel good about myself.  while they make fun of pretty much everything i do, in a joking manner, of course, they would punch anyone who ever made fun of me.  they stick up for me.  they laugh at my jokes, even though they've heard them more than 20 times.  they make me feel so much better about myself, and they are a constant reminder that everyone has angels looking out for them.
my tourette's.  a few days ago in my religion class up at school we were talking about trials and challenges.  our professor brought up the fact that a lot of people actually thank God for the challenges they have been "blessed" with.  while he was saying this, i kept thinking in my head "yes, yes, yes"  it's so freaking true.  i thank God every day for my tourette's.  i am the way i am because of my tourette's.  i am optimistic because of my tourette's.  i am empathetic because of my tourette's.  and i am a sailor mouth [partially] because of my tourette's.  
my education.  i love learning.  i have been blessed to go to a university that i love.  i am blessed to know what i want to do with my life, and i am thankful that i've found something that i absolutely love to do.  i am thankful for my brain  that always craves to learn new things.
life.  some people don't realize how precious life is.  i heard a quote once that said, "love the people God gave you, for someday he'll want them back"  ever since i heard that quote, i try to tell everyone i love them as often as i can.  sometimes i tell people i'm thankful for them and their friendship.  i was talking with my roommate a few nights ago about why we are the way we are.  i was telling her that since i never really had friends until i was in 11th grade, i always thank people for being my friend because i've never had this many friends.  i'm thankful for my friends.  each and every one of them.
change.  i'm thankful for the gift of change.  if you don't like the way something is working out, chances are you have a say in changing it -- i'm grateful for that.  i'm grateful that there IS such a thing as change.  what would life be like if once you made a decision there was absolutely no way you could go back?  change is what makes life interesting.


today is thanksgiving and i am thankful for everything that i have been blessed with.

josh groban is thankful too.


xoxo ALi

daddy's girl

ever since i was born, i've been close to my dad.

things i like about my dad:
[1] he is super encouraging.
[2] he is the hardest working man i know.
[3] he is very fashion forward and stylish. 
[4] while he may seem very dry at first, he's one of the funniest [and most inappropriate] men i know.
[5] he puts up with my sisters and i.  
[6] he loves my mom more than anyone in the world.
[7] best vacation planner ever.
[8] he is very motivating.  and honest.  if i'm not doing my best, he'll be sure and let me know.
[9] he owns at the piano.  he'll randomly play the piano at our house, and the sound of the classical music just makes me melt. 
[10] he plays on his ipad during church and "takes himself out of sacrament meeting" when he needs some fresh air/the high council speaker is uber boring.
[11] he is the number one guy in my life.
[12] he bought me flowers one valentines day.
[13] he always loves to snuggle.
[14] speaking of snuggling, when i was a wee little baby he would carry me around in his bathrobe with my head sticking out of the neck to get me to fall asleep.
[15] he always expects the best from me.  
[16] he is so spiritual and doesn't let the culture of the church influence his testimony of the gospel.
[17] he lets me drive his BMW just for funsies.
[18] he loves going on daddy daughter dates to very nice restaurants.
[19] he is a fast shopper.  in an out, as he says.
[20] he doesn't take crap from no one.

ollie, i love you so much.  thank you for being the best dad a girl could ask for.  


xx ALi

happy birthday to ollie

guest post by susil

i am not sure where the time went

they say it goes by too fast

it has

and i want some of it back

i want to go back to that first evening in the hospital

november 16, 1991

when your dad was holding you

a pink stocking cap on your keppy

while they stitched me up

just in ahhhh that you were a girl

so sure you were max the entire time i was pregnant

you were so gorgeous 

born with a tan

and the most beautiful brown eyes

can i just hold my baby girl again?

i guess as a mom

i know intellectually

that we are all here to learn

and to grow

never really comprehending

how that might actually play out in my child's life

you have been entrusted with some pretty significant challenges

over the years i have felt some gut wrenching pain for you

i have longed to suffer for you instead watching you suffer

i have hated the tics, the medicines that didn't work, the meanies

but  i know now

that you would not be the person you are today

without having had to face some of the things you have

the way you have

i have marveled at your faith

at your tenaciousness

at your ability to pick yourself up

dust yourself off 

and keep moving

you are my hero

truly you are

i love you the millionest

and if i might say- one regret

i should have gotten you those 

scrunched pleather cowboy boots in paris.

happy 20th birthday

ollie

ollie's 20th.

 2009 -- 18th birthday

2010 -- 19th birthday

2011 -- 20th birthday

my, how far i have come.

my, how amazing my life is.

my, how much i love myself.

my, how happy i finally am.

xoxo the birthday bitch.

MY year.

wednesday is my birthday.  last year on this special day, when i turned 19, i hit the -50 pound weight loss mark.  it was the best birthday present i could give to myself, i thought on that perfect morning.  i had been hovering around that weight mark for about a week.  i kept thinking "man, hitting the 50 pound weight loss mark would be the best birthday present ever."  and i did.  on that tuesday morning of november 16, at around 10, i stepped on that scale and it read 162.2 [which if you can recall from my previous blog posts, is exactly 50 pounds from where i started].  i cannot begin to tell you the amount of emotions that i become filled with.


it's been a year.  a year since i became the new ali.  a year since i've kept off 50+ pounds.  can i tell you how happy i am?  i'm a completely different person.  all because i decided that the life i was living wasn't the life i was happy with.  


reflecting back on all of the things that have made this year MY year, i am amazed.  i am amazed at by changing one thing in your life [in this case it was my eating addiction], your attitude and perspective on everything can flip 180 degrees.  i am confident.  i believe i am beautiful.  i am a size 10.  i am happy.  i am the weirdest, coolest, quirkiest girl i know, and i am comfortable with myself. 


i am so overcome with gratitude on this day.  i was talking to my best friend on the phone a few nights ago and the topic of gratitude came up.  it's actually something we talk about quite often.  we were just discussing how fortunate we are to have the lives we do.  i sometimes wonder how i got so lucky to be this blessed.


but a whole year of keeping off the weight!?  i can do anything.  I'M SUPERWOMAN.  and i know it.  i'm still not to where i want to be weight wise, but i know i can do it.  if i just put my mind to it, i can do it.  i know i can.

how to win me over.

i, ali mahterian, am not a complex person.  there are very few things that i truly hate.  i'm pretty optimistic, outgoing, and funny [although my mom tells me i need to stop reminding people how funny i am].  want to know how to win me over, boys?  here are some things you should probably know :

[1] i thrive off compliments.  compliment the hell out of me.  tell me i look pretty when i least expect it.  give me a random compliment every time you see me.  the more you compliment me, the more beautiful i feel.  but please mean it.  

[2] although i may seem extremely confident, i have very little.  if i say something self critical, don't assume it's because i'm finishing for compliments -- i legitimately have very little self-esteem.  please be a booster and make me feel like i'm worth something.

[3] i'm a very rare breed -- i'm blunt, sarcasm is my second language, and i might swear more than a sailor.  i'm not going to play games with you because that's not the kind of girl i am.  i love talking, so let me talk.  when i become interested in something you have to say, i will listen with all my heart; i genuinely am intrigued by your stories.  some of them, at least.  if you say something, chances are i'll remember it.  i love math and i'm kind of a nerd.  moral of the story?  appreciate my uniqueness.  i can guarantee you'll never meet anyone like me.  ever.

[4] while most girls swoon over guys who play the guitar [and i will admit i do love it sometimes], the piano is my favorite instrument.  if you can play the piano [extra bonus if you can sing, too] i might fall a little bit more in love with you.  also, if you like ben folds half as much as i do, you also just earned yourself 50 points.

[5] actions speak louder than words.  if you tell me you're going to do something, please do it.  if you say something, mean it.

[6] invite me over to hang out with you and your friends.  if you feel comfortable enough to invite me and my obnoxiously loud self over to hang out with you and your bros, it shows me that you think i'm awesome.  

[7] i'm a chubby chaser.  i like bigger guys.  if you're skinny as a stick, don't feel offended.  don't rule yourself out either.  but i'm just sayin if i had the choice between a guy with a 6 pack and a guy with a layer of fat from a 6 pack over his 6 pack, i might pick the later.

[8] 5 words --> linger when you hug me.  

[9] good-morning texts are probably one of my favorite things.  if you want to win me over, send me a little text for me to wake up to.  my gahl, i can't tell you how much i would appreciate that.

[10] laugh at my jokes.  and i mean really laugh at my jokes.  not a pity laugh, but a good "ho ho ho" santa kind of laugh.  on the flip side, make ME laugh.  my gahl, there is nothing more attractive than a funny guy who isn't a douche-bag. 

[11] don't try to change me.  i'm fully aware that i'm not the skinniest girl, the prettiest girl, or the smartest girl.  but i am as unique as a one-of-a-kind piece of jewelry.  i embrace my quirkiness and i don't really care what people think about me.  i really mean that.

if you know anyone who fits these criteria [or if you, yourself, are interested in applying for this position]  please leave me a comment in my comment box.  i also love comments.

forgot this one. [12] 

xoxo alikat

i can & i will

figuratively, there's a lot on my plate right now.  literally there's absolutely nothing because my ADHD pills haven't worn off and i'm not hungry.  i have multiple hours of homework, tests in my 2 hardest classes, and a project all due before the end of the week.  but i can do it.  and i will do it.


i wil get all of my homework done.
i will find time to go to the gym and work out.
i will get an A on both my accounting and econ tests.
i can do anything i set my mind to. 
i will be successful in my studies and friendships.
i can do it.
I WILL SUCCEED!!!

happy monday.


xox Ollie

read this.

my freshman year of college was hell.  absolute hell.  it wasn't for one particular reason, but because of an accumulation of multiple problems that i was dealing with.  while i was doing homework on a snowy afternoon, i got a text message.  and it said this :
"when you are feeling alone like no one cares, read this because it's absolutely true.  every night, someone thinks about you before you go to sleep.  at least fifteen people in this world love you.  the only reason someone would ever hate you is because they want to be just like you.  there are at least two people in this world that would die for you.  you mean the world to someone.  someone that you don't even know exists loves you.  when you make the biggest mistake ever, something good comes from it.  when you think the world has turned its back on you, take a look.  always remember the compliments you've received.  forget the rude remarks and know that you are loved."


i think i actually started crying as soon as i got this.  i don't remember exactly who sent it to me, but they are an angel.  they are proof that God has living angels watching out for us, thinking about us daily, and wanting to make our lives as good as possible.


always remember that YOU [yes, you reading this] are loved.  i know what it's like to have challenges, but just remember that you are strong enough to overcome them.  there is always something positive that comes out of every situation, and it takes a very optimistic person to realize that.  over the past year, i have finally come to realize that i am perfect just the way i am.  i have come to love myself for me.  i have come to accept myself for me.  and i have come to realize that one day someone will love me for me.


i wouldn't change a damn thing about my "perfect" self.

YOU ARE LOVED.  please don't forget that.  ever.


xoxo Alikat

cayman pictures -- a few months late.

i finally have pictures from the mahterian family vacation 2011 [aka the last mahterian family vacation].  

mah girls in the ritz garden before dinner.

the best picture of the trip, hands down.

i feel like this perfectly describes my parents.

i was so tan.  give it back!

mah family on the boat before parasailing.

mah girls getting ready to fly.  such a great bonding experience.

when our flight home got canceled, the nice delta airline people put us up in the crappiest hotel known to mankind with a $20 meal voucher.  we ditched that hellhole and went to the outdoor mall instead.

BEST FAMILY VACATION EVER.  look how svelte i look.  being skinny rocks.

xoxo olliepop

a week to remember

october 28-29 - while i'm aware halloween is the 31st, my roommates and i went to a dance party [on both friday and saturday].  obviously i took full advantage of this and wore my costume.

BEST DORA EVER!

october 31 - happy halloween.  i celebrated by doing homework in the library.  whoop whoop.  party animal right here.  but before i had an intimate night with my laptop and my accounting book, i went to our ward halloween party.  dressed up as a teletubby.  i apologize for the lack of pictures.  

november 1 - happy first day of the month that i love!  and hate -- because guys feel the need to not shave their staches, giving them the appearance of disgusting pedophiles.

november 2 - on this day i wore this outfit.  

on the cuteness scale, i'd give myself a 12.  hands down.  

this day was also the day that i was accepted into the european humanities tour through my school! [pause for excited screeching]  for 3 weeks in spring 2012, i will be traveling to munich, london, paris, rome, vienna, and florence!  can you say LUCKIEST GIRL EVER!?!?  and get this, i'll be going with one of my favorite friends, scott aka scoot.  we spent 2 hours last night discussing our excitement and we have come to the conclusion that we will be starting a blog documenting our pre-european adventures [as well as while we're actually in europe, which is about 6 months away].  can i just tell you how ecstatic i am!?

MORE FUTURE DATES TO BE AWARE OF --

november 7 - my dog's birthday.  #teamcoco.  happy early birthday to the baby coco.

november 16 - my birthday.  i'm going to be 20.  holy cow, i am such an old fart.

november 23 - get me a towel and some tanning lotion, BECAUSE I FINALLY GET TO GO HOME!!!  thanksgiving break starts on this day.  all you agourians, PLEASE pray for warmth, sunshine, and NO rain/snow/sleet/hail/cold weather/wind/tornados/hurricanes/earthquakes/the whole 9 yards.

xoxo ALi

p.s.

dear 212 pound ali.

dear 212 pound ali --
you made it.  you finally made it.  you are now 55 pounds lighter and you love life.  i think it's safe to say that you are the happiest you've ever been.  you're currently on 5 pills a day instead of 25.  you now exude confidence.  people who haven't seen you in a few years can't stop marveling at how different you look.  they keep commenting on how you just radiate happiness.  can you believe that your favorite food isn't a chicken quesadilla from baja fresh anymore?  can you believe that you don't wear a size 16 pants or an XXL shirt??  i'm here to tell you that you can do it.  you are extremely capable of losing the weight.  one day something will finally click in you -- a switch will flip in your brain and you will start on the journey to your new life.  ali, don't give up on yourself.  people have made fun of you for being obese all of your life and now you've finally gotten rid of that awful label.  always remember that others will love you no matter what you weigh, but can i just say that it's so much more fun to be skinny?  that being said, stop sneaking food while sue is out doing errands and get off your lazy butt and make a change.  one day in the near future, you will realize that you love exercise.  take that love and run with it [literally].  eat only when hungry.  sleep only when necessary.  laugh all the damn time.  put the past behind you -- it's in the past for a reason.  become the person you've always dreamed of becoming before it's too late.  the life you've always wanted to live CAN become a reality if you really want it to.  stay strong, ollie.  i have faith that you can do it.


xoxo 157 pound ali

meet pickle.

this is pickle.

he's our new baby hamster.

i'm a tad obsessed with him.  but in the healthiest way possible.

have you ever seen this much joy on my face?

maybe.  but most likely not.  i love this little nugget.

and that's all, folks.

xoxo ALi

in case you were wondering...

...yes, i do still dress uber cute.

i just think the middle picture very accurately describes my normal personality.


and then here are some more...

oh, and still no marriage proposals.


xx ALi

blessed.

Have you ever laughed and cried at the same time?  Not crying from laughter, but two separate events occurring at the same time?  Last night I had a lot of both.


For some reason, I was having a bad night.  I was grumpy, emotional, and just feeling down about myself.  I texted my best friend Kim.  She responded with the most amazing text, and I am going to hang it in my room.  Our conversation went as follows :


A : "I'm just feeling so worthless.  It's like my self esteem took a leap out of a 22 story building and left me feeling so vulnerable."
K : "That's weird.  Good thing your parachute deployed showing how beautiful, funny, classy, sophisticated, spiritual, caring, loving, contagious, empowering, motivating, giving, and sooo many more things you are.  Go look at your picture of you in a bikini or a really cute outfit.  Go read some of your jokes you have written down.  Read your patriarchal blessing.  Look at all your friends.  Sleep in your size 8 jeans.  Dance naked.  Smile.  Then if your self esteem doesn't come back, remember that you are my best friend who has helped me through more stuff that you know and I think you are perfect just the way you are.  I love you!"


I started laughing, and then I cried.  I cried because I love her and I know she loves me.  I cried because even thought she said all of those kind things, I haven't accepted them.  I cried because I have been extremely blessed to have such amazing people in my life.


I'm usually a pretty optimistic person.  I love people so much.  When people don't reciprocate my love, I feel angry.  I feel frustrated.  I feel worthless.  But then I realize that the people who give me what I give them are the true friends you want to keep around for eternity.  They are my angels that God sent to help me in this life.


There are certain people who get you.  They completely understand where you're coming from and why you are the way you are.  I am so fortunate to have multiple people who encompass the qualities of a true friend.  They love me for the quirky, awkward person I am.  They love me even when I don't love myself.  They are sad when I'm sad, happy when I'm happy, and overwhelmed when I'm overwhelmed.  They are my boosters.  They keep me going.  They are the people who truly listen because they have genuine interest in what I have to say.  They are the people who randomly give me compliments because they know that's how I feel loved.  They are the people who stay up til the wee hours of the morning talking with me because they care.  I am SO BLESSED to have such amazing angels in my life.  You know who you are.


xx ALi

what i really really want more than anything

hi.  i'm ali mahterian.  it's 2:17 in the morning and i was just thinking about how much i want a hand to hold.  is that weird?  i just really like holding people's hands [especially boys].  i personally think it's one of the best things ever.  that's really all i want right now.

start of something new.

"it's the start of something new / it feels so right to be here with you", sing gabriella and troy in the first high school musical.  well, ladies and gents, they do have a point.  the start of a new school year is just around the corner [school starts tomorrow] and i'm so excited for what this new semester has in store!  


while i legitimately am excited for actual school to start, i'm also excited for my social life.  i am a blossoming butterfly in the school of social-ness.  i really love meeting new people and having a whole semester to make friendships that hopefully last longer than 2 weeks.  i mean, what better way to make friends than bonding over the multiple social attractions rexburg has to offer!?  there's the potato fields... and that's about it.  awkward.


i've meet all of my roommates, and i am happy to report that they are spectacular!  I LOVE MY ROOMMATES.  they are absolutely wonderful and i think we'll get along super well.  scratch that -- i KNOW we will get along super well.  positive reinforcement usually brings good juju, so i'm going to hope for the best. i think the moment i knew i loved them [i know, it's only been a few days and i'm already dropping the L bomb] was when i told them i had tourette's and might swear.  they just laughed, and said "that's fine".  one of them, morgan, said "kay, good, because i swear sometimes too.  and i don't even have tourette's."  so all of the pre-semester jitters are gone!  now i just have to survive my first day at school...


also on another positive note : it's great to be back in my apartment complex with friends i met last year.  one thing that i hate is meeting cool people at the end of the semester, thus not having an adequate amount of time to secure a special place in their heart.  now that i'm back [and cooler than ever] i can rekindle these flames of friendship and hang out with these awesome people even more!  oh my goodness, my excitement can hardly be contained!


and now, a pre-semester prayer.


rexburg, please be good to me this semester.
please allow me to be a drop dead gorgeous bombshell that multiple guys admire.
also help me to do well in my classes.  
i'd like to ask that my stomach act semi-normal and that i don't get too sick.
and please keep the snow away.  far, far away.


amen.  xx ALi

happiness.

happiness means something different to everyone.  this being said, i decided to ask some of the people that matter most to me in this world what happiness means to them.  [there are a lot of people that fit into this category, but i couldn't reach all of you.  i apologize.]


my personal definition of happiness : happiness is trying on size 8 pants [when you thought you were a 10] and having them fitting perfectly.  <-- true story.  i am now a size 8.  thank you very much.


annie adams : "happiness is when you feel like there are little light bugs jumping around in your tummy, heart, and head, and when you feel like you are in control of your life, you like where you are at, and have nothing but bright hopes for your future."


kimberly turlay : happiness.  sushi.  adele.  in n out shakes.


miss hailey sasine, director of camp twitch and shout : "happiness is working towards goals, and making steps in the right direction to achieve them."


stephanie halversen, who i always rely on for blunt, sarcastic humor : "happiness is having someone to tie my shoes when i don't feel like bending over."

i couldn't have said it any better myself.

xx ALi

i am now a woman?

womanhood is attained through different experiences for everyone.  for some, it's by getting their period.  and yes, i did just say the word PERIOD on my blog.  sue me.  for others, it's by getting their bat mitzvah.  most people, recently, have been equating womanhood with receiving their first kiss.  and if this is true, then i am officially a woman.


oh, gahl.  i can't believe i just said that publicly on the internet.  


and let me just say that i wrote this post because multiple people have asked me to.  so i'm not bragging at all - i'm just giving the people what they ask for.


xoxo ALi

awkward.

there are some things in life that are just plain awkward.  like my new favorite t.v. show, awkward, which is about an awkward girl and her awkward life.  but can i just say that if every awkward person had a life like this, i don't think we would complain.  at all.  


some more things that are awkward :
[1] having to explain my tourette's every time i meet a new person/group of people.
[2] sitting across from someone at a dinner party and them introducing themselves after you two have been talking for over an hour.  
[3] that fact that my current tic is saying "what in the f***", with an emphasis on the f***.  great success.  let me remind all y'all that i go back to the mormon school in a week, where swearing is extremely frowned upon.
[4] facebook stalking.  i honestly feel that facebook hurts people more than it helps people.  if you stalk your crush [or whatever my generation calls it nowadays] on facebook then you're learning everything you need to know about them before actually having a legitimate conversation with them.  what's there to talk about if you already know everything about them?  facebook just gives everyone an excuse to be antisocial, which depletes our knowledge of proper social etiquette, which just makes things awkward when you finally DO decide to emerge from your cocoon and attempt to become a social butterfly.
[5] leaving your phone at home for the day and anticipating at least 4 texts when you finally check it that night.  reality?  0 texts.  not cool, friends.
[6] quoting a movie/T.V show to a person who just quoted the exact same movie/T.V. show and them not getting the reference.  
[7] texting someone and them responding 10 hours later.  and then they fall off the face of planet nebuloid and you don't hear from them until they need a favor from you.
[8] my current facial tic is closing my right eye randomly.  basically it looks like i'm winking.  basically i AM winking.  we'll see if that works to or against my advantage up at school.
[9] the fact that my OCD is making me have 10 facts, because 10 is a good, nice number that won't make me crazy.
[10] that fact that i used to look like this vvv

yikes.  

xoxo ALi