blessed.

Have you ever laughed and cried at the same time?  Not crying from laughter, but two separate events occurring at the same time?  Last night I had a lot of both.


For some reason, I was having a bad night.  I was grumpy, emotional, and just feeling down about myself.  I texted my best friend Kim.  She responded with the most amazing text, and I am going to hang it in my room.  Our conversation went as follows :


A : "I'm just feeling so worthless.  It's like my self esteem took a leap out of a 22 story building and left me feeling so vulnerable."
K : "That's weird.  Good thing your parachute deployed showing how beautiful, funny, classy, sophisticated, spiritual, caring, loving, contagious, empowering, motivating, giving, and sooo many more things you are.  Go look at your picture of you in a bikini or a really cute outfit.  Go read some of your jokes you have written down.  Read your patriarchal blessing.  Look at all your friends.  Sleep in your size 8 jeans.  Dance naked.  Smile.  Then if your self esteem doesn't come back, remember that you are my best friend who has helped me through more stuff that you know and I think you are perfect just the way you are.  I love you!"


I started laughing, and then I cried.  I cried because I love her and I know she loves me.  I cried because even thought she said all of those kind things, I haven't accepted them.  I cried because I have been extremely blessed to have such amazing people in my life.


I'm usually a pretty optimistic person.  I love people so much.  When people don't reciprocate my love, I feel angry.  I feel frustrated.  I feel worthless.  But then I realize that the people who give me what I give them are the true friends you want to keep around for eternity.  They are my angels that God sent to help me in this life.


There are certain people who get you.  They completely understand where you're coming from and why you are the way you are.  I am so fortunate to have multiple people who encompass the qualities of a true friend.  They love me for the quirky, awkward person I am.  They love me even when I don't love myself.  They are sad when I'm sad, happy when I'm happy, and overwhelmed when I'm overwhelmed.  They are my boosters.  They keep me going.  They are the people who truly listen because they have genuine interest in what I have to say.  They are the people who randomly give me compliments because they know that's how I feel loved.  They are the people who stay up til the wee hours of the morning talking with me because they care.  I am SO BLESSED to have such amazing angels in my life.  You know who you are.


xx ALi