The topic of the day is [drum roll, please] boys! I definitely do not understand them AT ALL. So obvi I've lot a crap ton of weight [a ton = 2,000 pounds, so I'm exaggerating a smidgen] and still haven't been proposed to!! Not even a date!! Get this, I haven't even been asked for my number!! Gentlemen, I don't think you understand what you're missing. I'm Ali Mahterian. I have tourettes. I swear. I'm funnier than Steve Carrell in Dan In Real Life. I cook AMAZZZZING food. I'm smart. Super smart. I have impeccable fashion sense [3/7 days of the week]. I drink more water in a day then most do in a week. I think you get the point.... But really, I'm awesome.
Boys. I've been thinking a lot about them lately and have come up with some realizations / thoughts / suggestions / critiques.
THOUGHTS
[1] Take me back to the days of La Reina where I don't go to school with/humor/impress boys. I hate waking up at the crack of dawn, I mean 9:45, and having to pick out an outfit to impress that cute boy in my class. I hate having to see him everyday and try to start a conversation/make a witty comment/say something humorously sarcastic. I think you get the picture.
CRITIQUES/SUGGESTIONS
[1] If you're not into a girl, don't flirt with her!!! It will save you the embarrassment and her the heartbreak.
[2] If you're into a girl, make it obvious!!! Don't treat her like your other lady friends.
[3] Don't play hard to get. Just don't.
REALIZATIONS
[1] Before, when I was an obese whale, I thought that guys would fall in love with my personality. Boy, was I wrong [get it, that was a pun]. After observing and people watching at BYU-I-DO [and throwing out over half my data due to the Utard factor] I have come to the realization that guys would pick beauty over brains. That absolutely disgusts me. You're saying that you'd pick a beautiful blonde who doesn't know the quadratic equation over an average looking female who can make you laugh for hours? Okay, a bit dramatic. But point proven.
[2] If a boy liked me, he'd ask for my number!! He'd write on my facebook. He'd make an effort to talk to me.
Boy are stupid. I think I'm going to become a lesbian.
xx A
i will join you my dear! haha this made me laugh hysterically. this made my day. and my stats class a lot more entertaining!
ReplyDeletethanks for giving me a great laugh at work ali. keep up the good work, you are awesome! give the boy thing time.. it'll happen :)
ReplyDeleteoh easily the best. and the best part... everything is SOOO TRUE!!!! i share your feelings my friend. no boys have asked my number either! (okay one but he was weird)
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