realizations.

as i've become a happier person, i've come to realize some things.  


i've come to realize that...


taking offense is a choice.  a personal choice.  if someone says something about my weight or tourettes that i [in my crazy brain] deem offensive, why do i have to get upset?  who says i have to take offense to the little things?  who says i have to take offense to anything? taking offense is a choice and it's up to you to determine how you react.  i used to take offense to everything.  literally.  if i asked my dad if he liked my outfit and he said no, i would get all butt hurt.  even though i asked.  if someone made a comment about my tics or asked "why i was making weird facial movements" [if only i had a nickel for every time i've heard that] i ignored them and/or was extremely rude.  why did i feel the need to do that?  was it because i was insecure about other things and i thought that they were trying to indirectly offend me?  was it because i so angry at myself for being large and in charge that i took any opportunity to take that anger out on people?  was it because i just wanted an excuse to eat more pizza?  the answers are yes, yes, and yes.  why take offense unless you need to?
laughter is the best medicine. i laugh at everything.  and i mean EVERYTHING.  everything funny, that is.  minus people falling down stairs.  i don't think that's funny.  why do i laugh at most everything?  because i can.  because laughing things off is better than taking offense or being embarrassed.  sometimes people compliment me on my positive attitude and how i handle my tourettes with "such perseverance".  i tell them [1] thank you & [2] that life is too short not to laugh it off.  everyone has hardships and we're going to have them no matter what.  my view is that you can either be depressed about your trails or you can laugh them off.  i have tourettes.  i can either be depressed about it and loathe in self pity, or embrace my uniqueness and laugh at my tics. i choose the latter.
i am a flower.

self explanatory.
forgiveness is more than saying sorry. most everyone and their mother knows that my favorite FAVORITE movie of all time is 'just friends' with ryan reynolds and anna faris.  i always joke that i loved ryan reynolds when he was fat.  see the movie to understand that joke.  so i randomly quote 'just friends' a lot and people either [1] know what i'm talking about or [2] look at me like i'm crazy.  anna faris, who plays crazy pop sensation samantha james, writes a song entitled 'forgiveness'.  it goes like this : 'forgiveness is more than saying sorry.  forgiveness means accepting peoples flaws.  to forgive is divine.'  and then she rants on about wine and make up sex, but we're not gonna talk about that.  i really feel like an important life lesson is intertwined in that song, whether we realize it or not.  forgiveness IS more than saying sorry.  it means truly trying to change your actions, and your heart.  forgiveness IS accepting peoples flaws.  i have word vomit.  for those of you who've seen mean girls, you know what i'm talking about.  more times than not, i say things that shouldn't be said.  and it's not until the word/phrase is out of my mouth that i realize i shouldn't have said that thing i just said.  thankfully, i have wonderful friends who love me despite "my stupid mouth" that "got me in trouble" because "i said too much."  i hope you all appreciated that JM reference.  

i am so grateful that this picture speaks the truth.
i am beautiful. no matter what people may say or think.