i know

i feel as if i'm able to express myself more clearly through writing, as opposed to speaking.  those who know me know that i'm really fluent in 4 languages -- sarcasm, saying the right thing at the wrong time, saying the wrong thing at the wrong time, and english.

i am feeling very humbled today and want to express my testimony.

testimony (noun): personal beliefs and feelings of things one knows to be true, through personal experience and observations

i know that the Lord gives us challenges because he loves us.  i know he cares for us deeply and dearly, perfectly and tenderly.  i know life seems unfair at times-- this might be because of: personal trials/struggles; burdens placed upon us because of the careless acts of others, sometimes those we trusted at true friends; regret and remorse; or lack of understanding.  i know that if we trust in God we will realize that all that is wrong about life can be made right because of the Atonement of Jesus Christ.  the Atonement is the single most important event to ever occur on this earth.  the Atonement consisted of Jesus Christ suffering in the garden of Gethsemane, being nailed to the cross and breaking the bands of death, and being Resurrected, thus allowing us to one day live with our families forever.  the Atonement occurred because Jesus Christ loves you; he loves me.  and if you were the only person to ever live on the earth, Jesus Christ still would have died for you!  because he loves you THAT much!  isn't it incredible!?  i know that the way others treat us is a reflection of them, not us.  i know that no matter how many mistakes we have made, there is always a second chance.  and a third chance.  and a fourth chance.  and a 504,293rd chance.

one of my favorite scriptures can be found in the Book of Mormon, in the book of Ether.  in the 6th chapter we read about a group of people, the Jaredites, who are attempting to cross large bodies of water in order to get from one land to another.  up to this point we have read how they are crossing the water in these barges -- i imagine them to be like hallowed almonds  -- and how they have prepared for this journey and are going for it.  in verse 5 we read, "and it came to pass that the Lord God caused that there should be a furious wind blow upon the face of the waters."  yes, you read that correctly-- the Lord caused the winds to blow.  why would he do that?  doesn't he realize that this journey would be hard enough without nausea and seasickness?   what we read a few verses later is that it's BECAUSE of the furious winds that the barges are able to make it to the promised land!

we are studying symbolism in my religion class and this chapter is chalk full of symbols.  according to the doctrine of ali (aka my opinion), the wind = trials & the promised land = becoming the people God needs us to become.  IF it's because of the wind that the Jaredites were able to get to the promised land faster, THEN the trials we go through allow us to become the people God needs us to become.  it's all about God's timing-- not our own.  i know that to be true.

i know that sometimes we might reeeeallllllly want something and work uber hard and not get it.  we might wonder, "why isn't (fill in the blank) working out?  i've done everything i should be doing!  i'm doing (fill in the blank some more) and (fill in the blank with more accomplishments) and (fill in the blank) isn't happening.  does God not love me enough to give me what i want?"  oh, my friend, on the contrary, he loves you more than you think-- and sometimes when the fill-in-the-blank that you want doesn't happen, it's because God has better things in store for you.  i know this to be true.  i know that God already has everything planned out; if we will trust in him, and his timing, we will be the happiest.  isn't it amazing to know that God loves you enough to withhold (fill in the blank) because he knows something else will make you happier??

these are just a few of the things i know to be true.  i am especially thankful that in 15 days sister mahterian #2 will come home and the family will be 80% complete again -- thankfully sister mahterian #3 only has 12 months left :)

maybe the reason i'm writing is because i need to internalize my thoughts and feelings.  or maybe you can benefit from my observations and realizations.  whatever the reason, i hope you feel the love of God -- today and always :)

p.s. i love this place & these people.