Thursday, July 2, 2015

the golden rule

"treat others the way you want to be treated" // the golden rule.  for the most part, i try to follow it.  now i'm not saying i'm perfect -- i'm known to be cranky and sometimes say things that might be better off left unsaid.  however, i truly believe that people deserve to be treated with the utmost respect and kindness.

some might say i have a problem with caring too much about people.  how is that possible?  when i meet someone i start to develop a close friendship with, i would do anything for them.  this is a solid trait to have.  however, we come to a problem: sometimes i care too much about people who don't reciprocate the love.  i'm an optimist (for the most part).  i LOVE to give people the benefit of the doubt.  if someone doesn't treat me with respect, i usually try to justify why they did [fill in the blank]: they're having a bad day, they didn't really think about their actions or the consequences of their actions, blah blah blah.

i was talking to my bff kim a few weeks ago and told her about a snituation that i was going through.  i was telling her about a recently developed friendship and how it was a very solid, very quality friendship.  i also mentioned how there were some things that were rubbing me the wrong way -- how i felt like actions were speaking louder than words and how i didn't really feel appreciated.  i kept trying to justify this friend's actions and kim finally stopped me and said, "ali.  you are too nice.  you have a habit of letting people walk all over you. sometimes you need to think about what's best for yourself, and sometimes that includes cutting toxic people out of your life."  what a wise woman, that kimmy t is.

i believe we are put in people's lives for a reason.  every single person we come in contact with has been placed in our paths.  sometimes i realize their purpose immediately and sometimes it takes me a little while to understand why some individual has been graced with my presence in their life.

going back to this friend // while this friendship isn't turning out exactly as i envisioned it, i know that there are reasons i am in this individuals life.  at first, i thought they were an answer to my prayer; and they definitely are -- but in ways i didn't plan.  then i realized maybe i was needed in their life more than they were needed in mine.

does that make sense?

on my mission, one of my mission presidents told me, "sometimes you're in a companionship for you and sometimes you're in a companionship for them; sometimes your companion might need you more than you need them.  and vice versa."  i think those words are very profound and i realize that statement can be applied in friendships and relationships throughout the rest of my life.  occasionally i'll meet someone and realize there's a special bond between us.  i have a habit of immediately thinking, "okay, this person is going to do [fill in the blank] and [fill in the blank some more] and fill this void i have in my life."  sometimes i'm right about the direction the friendship is going and sometimes i'm wrong.  but no matter what happens, i really try to be the best friend i can for that person, whether they deserve it or not.  sometimes if we treat them with the respect they deserve, they come back and treat us with that same respect.

i guess the moral of my story is this // sometimes we are in relationships and realize we aren't being treated the way we would hope to be treated.  whether you had envisioned the friendship going differently, or whether it's going how you envisioned it but not yielding the same results, i have learned that we should ALWAYS treat others the way we would want to be treated.  sometimes people might not treat us the way we want to be treated, but we but should always treat them the way we want to be treated.  in the end, if people have a problem with you it's generally a reflection of them and not you.

now go be the best answer to someone's prayer that you can possibly be //

xx A

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