daddy's girl

ever since i was born, i've been close to my dad.

things i like about my dad:
[1] he is super encouraging.
[2] he is the hardest working man i know.
[3] he is very fashion forward and stylish. 
[4] while he may seem very dry at first, he's one of the funniest [and most inappropriate] men i know.
[5] he puts up with my sisters and i.  
[6] he loves my mom more than anyone in the world.
[7] best vacation planner ever.
[8] he is very motivating.  and honest.  if i'm not doing my best, he'll be sure and let me know.
[9] he owns at the piano.  he'll randomly play the piano at our house, and the sound of the classical music just makes me melt. 
[10] he plays on his ipad during church and "takes himself out of sacrament meeting" when he needs some fresh air/the high council speaker is uber boring.
[11] he is the number one guy in my life.
[12] he bought me flowers one valentines day.
[13] he always loves to snuggle.
[14] speaking of snuggling, when i was a wee little baby he would carry me around in his bathrobe with my head sticking out of the neck to get me to fall asleep.
[15] he always expects the best from me.  
[16] he is so spiritual and doesn't let the culture of the church influence his testimony of the gospel.
[17] he lets me drive his BMW just for funsies.
[18] he loves going on daddy daughter dates to very nice restaurants.
[19] he is a fast shopper.  in an out, as he says.
[20] he doesn't take crap from no one.

ollie, i love you so much.  thank you for being the best dad a girl could ask for.  


xx ALi

happy birthday to ollie

guest post by susil

i am not sure where the time went

they say it goes by too fast

it has

and i want some of it back

i want to go back to that first evening in the hospital

november 16, 1991

when your dad was holding you

a pink stocking cap on your keppy

while they stitched me up

just in ahhhh that you were a girl

so sure you were max the entire time i was pregnant

you were so gorgeous 

born with a tan

and the most beautiful brown eyes

can i just hold my baby girl again?

i guess as a mom

i know intellectually

that we are all here to learn

and to grow

never really comprehending

how that might actually play out in my child's life

you have been entrusted with some pretty significant challenges

over the years i have felt some gut wrenching pain for you

i have longed to suffer for you instead watching you suffer

i have hated the tics, the medicines that didn't work, the meanies

but  i know now

that you would not be the person you are today

without having had to face some of the things you have

the way you have

i have marveled at your faith

at your tenaciousness

at your ability to pick yourself up

dust yourself off 

and keep moving

you are my hero

truly you are

i love you the millionest

and if i might say- one regret

i should have gotten you those 

scrunched pleather cowboy boots in paris.

happy 20th birthday

ollie

ollie's 20th.

 2009 -- 18th birthday

2010 -- 19th birthday

2011 -- 20th birthday

my, how far i have come.

my, how amazing my life is.

my, how much i love myself.

my, how happy i finally am.

xoxo the birthday bitch.

MY year.

wednesday is my birthday.  last year on this special day, when i turned 19, i hit the -50 pound weight loss mark.  it was the best birthday present i could give to myself, i thought on that perfect morning.  i had been hovering around that weight mark for about a week.  i kept thinking "man, hitting the 50 pound weight loss mark would be the best birthday present ever."  and i did.  on that tuesday morning of november 16, at around 10, i stepped on that scale and it read 162.2 [which if you can recall from my previous blog posts, is exactly 50 pounds from where i started].  i cannot begin to tell you the amount of emotions that i become filled with.


it's been a year.  a year since i became the new ali.  a year since i've kept off 50+ pounds.  can i tell you how happy i am?  i'm a completely different person.  all because i decided that the life i was living wasn't the life i was happy with.  


reflecting back on all of the things that have made this year MY year, i am amazed.  i am amazed at by changing one thing in your life [in this case it was my eating addiction], your attitude and perspective on everything can flip 180 degrees.  i am confident.  i believe i am beautiful.  i am a size 10.  i am happy.  i am the weirdest, coolest, quirkiest girl i know, and i am comfortable with myself. 


i am so overcome with gratitude on this day.  i was talking to my best friend on the phone a few nights ago and the topic of gratitude came up.  it's actually something we talk about quite often.  we were just discussing how fortunate we are to have the lives we do.  i sometimes wonder how i got so lucky to be this blessed.


but a whole year of keeping off the weight!?  i can do anything.  I'M SUPERWOMAN.  and i know it.  i'm still not to where i want to be weight wise, but i know i can do it.  if i just put my mind to it, i can do it.  i know i can.

how to win me over.

i, ali mahterian, am not a complex person.  there are very few things that i truly hate.  i'm pretty optimistic, outgoing, and funny [although my mom tells me i need to stop reminding people how funny i am].  want to know how to win me over, boys?  here are some things you should probably know :

[1] i thrive off compliments.  compliment the hell out of me.  tell me i look pretty when i least expect it.  give me a random compliment every time you see me.  the more you compliment me, the more beautiful i feel.  but please mean it.  

[2] although i may seem extremely confident, i have very little.  if i say something self critical, don't assume it's because i'm finishing for compliments -- i legitimately have very little self-esteem.  please be a booster and make me feel like i'm worth something.

[3] i'm a very rare breed -- i'm blunt, sarcasm is my second language, and i might swear more than a sailor.  i'm not going to play games with you because that's not the kind of girl i am.  i love talking, so let me talk.  when i become interested in something you have to say, i will listen with all my heart; i genuinely am intrigued by your stories.  some of them, at least.  if you say something, chances are i'll remember it.  i love math and i'm kind of a nerd.  moral of the story?  appreciate my uniqueness.  i can guarantee you'll never meet anyone like me.  ever.

[4] while most girls swoon over guys who play the guitar [and i will admit i do love it sometimes], the piano is my favorite instrument.  if you can play the piano [extra bonus if you can sing, too] i might fall a little bit more in love with you.  also, if you like ben folds half as much as i do, you also just earned yourself 50 points.

[5] actions speak louder than words.  if you tell me you're going to do something, please do it.  if you say something, mean it.

[6] invite me over to hang out with you and your friends.  if you feel comfortable enough to invite me and my obnoxiously loud self over to hang out with you and your bros, it shows me that you think i'm awesome.  

[7] i'm a chubby chaser.  i like bigger guys.  if you're skinny as a stick, don't feel offended.  don't rule yourself out either.  but i'm just sayin if i had the choice between a guy with a 6 pack and a guy with a layer of fat from a 6 pack over his 6 pack, i might pick the later.

[8] 5 words --> linger when you hug me.  

[9] good-morning texts are probably one of my favorite things.  if you want to win me over, send me a little text for me to wake up to.  my gahl, i can't tell you how much i would appreciate that.

[10] laugh at my jokes.  and i mean really laugh at my jokes.  not a pity laugh, but a good "ho ho ho" santa kind of laugh.  on the flip side, make ME laugh.  my gahl, there is nothing more attractive than a funny guy who isn't a douche-bag. 

[11] don't try to change me.  i'm fully aware that i'm not the skinniest girl, the prettiest girl, or the smartest girl.  but i am as unique as a one-of-a-kind piece of jewelry.  i embrace my quirkiness and i don't really care what people think about me.  i really mean that.

if you know anyone who fits these criteria [or if you, yourself, are interested in applying for this position]  please leave me a comment in my comment box.  i also love comments.

forgot this one. [12] 

xoxo alikat

i can & i will

figuratively, there's a lot on my plate right now.  literally there's absolutely nothing because my ADHD pills haven't worn off and i'm not hungry.  i have multiple hours of homework, tests in my 2 hardest classes, and a project all due before the end of the week.  but i can do it.  and i will do it.


i wil get all of my homework done.
i will find time to go to the gym and work out.
i will get an A on both my accounting and econ tests.
i can do anything i set my mind to. 
i will be successful in my studies and friendships.
i can do it.
I WILL SUCCEED!!!

happy monday.


xox Ollie

read this.

my freshman year of college was hell.  absolute hell.  it wasn't for one particular reason, but because of an accumulation of multiple problems that i was dealing with.  while i was doing homework on a snowy afternoon, i got a text message.  and it said this :
"when you are feeling alone like no one cares, read this because it's absolutely true.  every night, someone thinks about you before you go to sleep.  at least fifteen people in this world love you.  the only reason someone would ever hate you is because they want to be just like you.  there are at least two people in this world that would die for you.  you mean the world to someone.  someone that you don't even know exists loves you.  when you make the biggest mistake ever, something good comes from it.  when you think the world has turned its back on you, take a look.  always remember the compliments you've received.  forget the rude remarks and know that you are loved."


i think i actually started crying as soon as i got this.  i don't remember exactly who sent it to me, but they are an angel.  they are proof that God has living angels watching out for us, thinking about us daily, and wanting to make our lives as good as possible.


always remember that YOU [yes, you reading this] are loved.  i know what it's like to have challenges, but just remember that you are strong enough to overcome them.  there is always something positive that comes out of every situation, and it takes a very optimistic person to realize that.  over the past year, i have finally come to realize that i am perfect just the way i am.  i have come to love myself for me.  i have come to accept myself for me.  and i have come to realize that one day someone will love me for me.


i wouldn't change a damn thing about my "perfect" self.

YOU ARE LOVED.  please don't forget that.  ever.


xoxo Alikat